Sex comes and goes...

My first post of confession! I have not been the most morally correct the last year. During the last year, after breaking it with my girlfriend I somehow slept with between ten to fifteen girls. I was surprised when I started counting them and thought, it couldn’t be?? How could I? no guilt though, even someone might have gotten hurt.

I began to wonder why so many girls struggle with combining casual sex with single life. Now their issue is my issue. I don’t have any problem combining it, neither am I a girl, but some girls I met during that last year did have issues. In respect of my own being I have tried to work it out where I caused problems for other and hurt someone, at the same time I have been very open about me being sleeping around with a lot of girls. The girls problem is that they know very well I do sleep around, they know the best for them is leaving me and stopping what they do, but for some reason they can’t. Am I responsible for making them stop so they don’t hurt themselves anymore?? No, they have to learn to deal with it whoever it doing this.

I slept with two or three at the same time even the same week. None of them knew. My life as a single was so far from being in that cocoon with my ex girlfriend. I absolutely don’t see my self as one that has any excess of charm, social skills or are extremely good at picking up girls. Truth is I absolutely don’t understand why I ended up with so many girls in my bed. I am not even good at conversation, usually I am the one who likes to listen and just ask questions.

Does girls seem to care about me sleeping around? In general no. I am a guy, they joke about me being a womanizer, they know I am not a saint and they accept it probably because I am a single male. Would guys have the same tolerance for girls behaving the same way? I wouldn’t, so I contradict myself. Still don’t care. Why haven’t I met someone who could let me see my self in the mirror? Girls don’t seem to like it to be casual because they are afraid of getting emotional and jealous. They are afraid of seeing me just enjoying the company of another girl, which I understand. Me, I don’t get emotional, most boys don’t about this stuff. I don’t fall in love unless I am looking for love or let myself fall into love with someone. Neither am I afraid of falling in love though, I just enjoy the potential of my life as a single at the moment. A life that just started. I mean, life is going to be lived when you are in your twenties and I think life is better lived as a single during this time because everything happens so fast and changes so quickly.

Would I still get jealous of girls I sleep or slept with? Yes, I cant explain it, I don’t act on it, it just bothers me. I was cheated on by one girl that I was on my knees for, I really loved her, it changed me for life. II broke up and moved on. But I never really moved on, because I still feel jealousy about stupid things…

Would I get jealous if I was treated as number two? Certainly, if it was obvious I was being treated as number two. Would I be jealous seeing these girls I slept with being with someone else? Both yes and no, someone I like more than others. Would I be able to party with her other “mates“? Well, the other day I was invited to a birthday party of one of these girls I been sleeping with over the last six months. She is explosive in bed, for sure one that I would jump back into bed with whenever the opportunity would come.

However, I was away for traveling for three months. When I came back I had a birthday invitation. I called and asked who else were coming. Now, since this was in the middle of the summer holidays basically everyone was gone and she desperately wanted me to celebrate her. It turned out she had been inviting her boyfriend which she had gotten since I left for traveling, she had invited a bachelor of hers which she turned down on but still kept as friend and me! Since she just moved to the city for short time ago she have been working too much and I guess her birthday was her wake up call. She nearly have none girl or guy friends to come celebrate her. I turned down the invitation and said I did not want to participate in this, celebrating with two guys who are on the knees for her and who probably wouldn’t know my relation to her. I party for having fun, for mingling with new people and old friends for celebrating my hours of being carefree! This party was not one for me and I reckon I would be slightly jealous and act as an ass to everyone.

Is jealousy why I don’t work very well in relationships? At the moment its an issue and since I don’t want that stress I stay single. Since I have more sex now and with more girls, than I had in my last relationship, why would I go back? Settling down is in the future for me. Not being a coach potato before I am done having my share of fun . This blog is going to be about those sexual encounters that happened, that will happen and those who never happened, nothing else. All the other crap is written in other blogs. Therefore my last name in this blog is Moody. Yes, I am addicted to the Tv series Californication. And since my lifestyle have turned out to be not so far from the person characterized in this series I changed my last name in this blog to Moody!